A Little About My Own Quest for Truth

Growing up in a conservative, Southern Baptist home, the local church was an integral part of my life: Sunday school, Sunday morning worship, Sunday evening Bible study, Sunday night worship, Wednesday night prayer meeting, choir, Royal Ambassadors (the Southern Baptist equivalent of the Boy Scouts) and Vacation Bible School every summer. I accepted Jesus as my personal Savior at the age of seven and was allowed to join the church after being thoroughly quizzed to make sure that I knew what I wanted. On Youth Sundays I taught Sunday school, played the piano and organ, and even preached once. My days were passed in a prayerful attitude and God was with me.

When I was 14 I had a single dream that should have told me I was somehow different. But based on the advice in the latest teen psychology books, I assured myself that any feelings that I was beginning to experience were a normal phase of male adolescence. That worked until I was 16 and came face to face with a real, live homosexual. My world turned upside down.
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Russian Gay Slang

Back when I was thinking about going for a masters degree in Slavic linguistics I put this essay together as a writing sample.  As slang changes very quickly in every culture, I make no claims to current accuracy…


Хочу мальчика, а кругом одни пидарасы…
(I want a boy, but all around there’s nothing but fags…)
Heard nightly at Chance, a Moscow gay club

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Letter from Akademgorodok

On October 2, 1993, I arrived at Sheremetovo-2 in Moscow, headed for a year-long stint in Novosibirsk as the first IREX "E-mail Fellow."  After clearing customs, I met Russian friends on the other side and we left Moscow for Vladimir, a provincial town located some three hours away.  The very next day we saw on television the chaos in the streets of Moscow as tanks fired on the White House and the "October Events" got underway.  During the first hours while the course of events was still uncertain, the Internet started to buzz with information from Russia as people around Moscow began to send messages to teleconferences, giving what information they were able to gather from the media and from outside their windows.  IREX/Moscow used e-mail to locate me in Vladimir and determine that I was alive and well.

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